Monday, June 16, 2008

Max Kellerman's Monday Musings Vol XIV - Why Max hates golf, Who's head should roll and Intelligent Design

Today's Max Kellerman and Brian Kenny show had it all -- sports, non-sports and religion, all wrapped up in a neat little three hour show. Topics included why Max hates golf (its racist and isn't a sport) how the Mets are not intelligently designed and why the Yankees are based on a sound plan. And of course, religion played an active role, although this time it was more overt than usual.

The first hour of the show featured a discussion as to why Max hates golf. I believe that he said that it was "a culture of the sewer" because it lacked athleticism and was racist and exclusionary. Although Max has previously weighed in on his dislike for golf and why its not a sport, today's program featured something new, a definition of sport. Max defined sport as "any competitive activity through which you can gauge the athleticism of the participant." This was the first time that I had heard Max actually define "sport", but I have to admit that I have missed quite a few shows over the last few weeks.

There was also quite a bit of cross-promotion as Max and Brian had Mike Greenberg of the Mike and Mike in the morning show (my friend Rabbi M's wife is a big fan of their program) in an attempt to explain why golf is worth watching and is a sport. As part of the guest spot, Max talked to him about going to school in NYC (I did not realize that Greeny went to Stuyvesant, I wonder if we had some of the same teachers, as the Stuyvesant science teachers taught in my high school in the afternoon). Max then asked him which of his parents was the "overbearing Jewish parent." Mike indicated both, while Max said that it was only his father.

Max and Brian also had Don Lagreca on to talk about golf. I was a little disappointed that they did not ask Don why he and Joey are allowed by the empty suits to go on the air with Michael Kay, while Louie and Lundberg are still banned from public speaking. I was also glad to hear the other day that there will be a free Louie and Lundberg website, I googled it this evening but only found my post on the subject from last month and a "meet up" site with one member.

As usual, Max brought religion into the show. Besides making reference to golf's exclusion of Jews and his own dominating Jewish parents, Max also taked about the concept of intelligent design - that (to use Max's example) if people landed on Jupiter and saw a computer it would be proof that G-d created the world. Max utilized this as part of his analysis of how the Yankees have a plan and are "intelligently designed" whereas the Mets have no design. I would disagree with the statement about the Mets as (despite being an ardent Met fan) I think that they are designed -- for failure. The team just can't hit but is above average in the pitching department. So what do they consider doing? Firing the pitching coach! Meanwhile the fact that the team can't hit for power (13 out of 16 NL teams in HRs and Slugging Pct) and sometimes can't hit at all is virtually ignored. Since the Mets fired Rick Down, the hitting has been abysmal. The fact that they have no power on the bench and are using waiver wire spare parts to fill in for injured players with AARP cards is completely irrelevant. It couldn't be the architect of the team's fault.

But back to religion, Max is correct that intelligent design is an important tool in demonstrating that Hashem does exist. If I were to hand you a watch and tell you that it was spontaneously created in the desert, would you believe me? How about if I told you that the monkey in the zoo hand wrote a letter? Then why would you believe that life could be the result of random acts? As usual Max brings Torah thought to sports - the Mets are not intelligently designed, but the world could not exist without divine intervention and forethought.

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